Troll and Unicorn

Season 1 Episode 1: The Strange Metal Cave

Troll and Unicorn set out on a journey in prehistoric earth to “mysterious mountain”.

TROLL
"Come on, Unicorn. We need to get moving if we're going to make it to that mountain before sunset."

UNICORN
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming. But can we make a detour to that rainbow over there? I heard therth a candy mountain at the end of it."

TROLL
"Dude. Rainbows are an illusion, produced by the refraction of light inside water drop…”

Unicorn starts trotting merrily toward the rainbow in the distance.

TROLL (muttering under his breath)
"We need to stick to the plan. I have promised I will to get you, you ridiculous creature, to “mysterious mountain”."
"Hey! We don't have time for detours. “Oooh rabbit! Oooh squirrel. Oooh, freaking candy cane lala land mushy wishy barf bags”
(TROLL MUTTERING)
"Urgh. Attention span of a gnat this guy. Freaking detours."

The rainbow seems to be behind a jungle and as Troll follows, running to keep up with Unicorn, they walk towards the forest and stumble upon a big metal cave in a hill that is covered in vines (which is a space ship that has crash-landed in the middle of a lush forest).

TROLL
"Hold on, what's this big cave in a hill here? We need to be careful; this could be dangerous."

UNICORN
"Dangerouth? Pth, I love danger. Let'th check it out!"

Unicorn, being his curious and impulsive self, decides to explore the strange shiny cave without thinking about the potential dangers. As soon as they enter, they find themselves in a strange and mysterious world, filled with seemingly magical things with blinking lights on walls and unusual shapes and surfaces. They do not know what it all means but the viewer will recognize it as advanced technology. Troll uses his magic to determine that this is what is called a “space ship” and is a kind of vessel used by people that typically do not have magic.

TROLL
“This is actually a vessel of some kind.”
He waves his hands around and mutters some spell.
"It is literally not of this world Unicorn! We need to get away from here! It is a .."
Troll does inverted commas sign"

TROLL
"… ‘space ship’"

None of them can understand the writing on the walls (it appears to the viewer also as strange gibberish) so Troll does another spell to allow himself and unicorn to read the writing. The writing turns into English for the viewer. They soon get the feeling that they are being watched. There are metal, shiny eyes in the walls (cameras) that follow them as they move. They realize that they are being monitored by something. As Troll follows Unicorn who is ignoring him, he explores this seemingly ancient “spaceship”. Unicorn, being his curious self, decides to take a closer look at a large room that has a big glowing ball in the center. The ball is at the end of a bridge that spans a deep cavern. (It is the ship's reactor.) As he walks toward the pretty ball (the reactor core), he loses his balance and falls into the deep pit below. Troll, being a quick thinker, uses his telekinesis to lift him, but Unicorn gets pulled towards the reactor. He kicks it hard with his hoof to try to get away from it. It smashes and he is blasted away from it. This seemingly sets off a reactor critical warning on the ship’s intercom.

TROLL
"Yo, we should understand that pretty lady voice now. Ummm Unicorn, we need to get out of here pronto. "

SHIP INTERCOM (Gentle, calming female voice)
"Reactor breach. Countdown to destruction in T minus 10 minutes. Please move to minimal safe distance.”

Unicorn, back on the bridge, walks up to unicorn with a guilty smile and cute big eyes.

UNICORN
"Thankth, Troll. You alwayth thave me!"

TROLL
"Seriously dude! We have to get AWAY from this place! The pretty lady says it is going to explode! How come she's so calm about this?! I hope she makes it out too. Unicorn, it looks like you broke something. Typical."

As they run for the exit, they pass through a room that has circular pads on the floor. (It is a teleporter room.) Unicorn bumps into a switch and gets teleported away from Troll into some other part of the ship.

SHIP INTERCOM
"T minus 5 minutes until critical reactor breach. Please move to a minimal safe distance."

Unicorn finds himself in a big room that looks like a gymnasium, filled with robotic dinosaurs and giant bananas with robot legs wandering about. Unicorn, being his playful self, decides to play with the dinosaurs and bananas, running about and kicking them with his hooves, giggling. The main door control gets smashed by unicorn’s hoof, causing it to close. Unicorn is trapped, but he seems oblivious. The giant bananas waddle around, and the dinosaurs try to attack but Unicorn is invulnerable to the bites and swipes of the dinosaur tails because he is a magical unicorn.

Suddenly Troll materializes in front of unicorn in the path of a robot banana dinosaur's tail swipe. He ducks.

TROLL

"Unicorn, I worked out how to get away from here. I had to use another spell but basically, we use the “transporter” room. It's a kind of magic that I have never seen before and quite fascinating actually. Anyway, the spell told me to ask the pretty lady voice how to get out of here. So I was like "Computer..." That's pretty lady voice's name by the way. "Where did Unicorn go?" And she was like "Is unicorn the diminutive equine with the horn?" And I was like "Yes that’s him! And she was like "Would you like me to beam you to Unicorn’s last known location?" And I was like" yeah but also how do we get out of here?" And she was like "Would you like me to beam you to minimal safe distance?"

Troll dodges another swish of a banana robot dinosaur's tail.

TROLL

"And I was like "Yes please!" And she was like "Please position yourself on the transporter pads for medium range teleportation to a minimal safe distance" and I was like, "Sure, but can you get me to Unicorn first please?" The next thing I know I'm dodging this banana Dino's tail. So yeah, Unicorn, we have to get to the "transporter room".

Troll puts on an angry face and turns magic green to get more insight into what to do.

TROLL

"Let me on your back."

He gets on Unicorn’s back, jumps onto a dinosaur and opens a port in its head.

TROLL

"The spell told me that I just have to pull this red string thingy thing here…"

When Troll pulls the wire out of the robot’s head, it starts going haywire. It starts attacking the other dinosaur robots and banana things, buying them time to escape the room. Troll jumps down off of the malfunctioning robot.

Unicorn galops towards the closed door and malfunctioning dinosaur charges towards him. Unicorn trips up and the dinosaur smashes into the closed door. Troll and Unicorn jump through the opening to the other side.

In the next room, there are two children. They are dancing around and playing. The room is another large room with ropes and poles sticking out of the floor. There are more ridiculous waddling giant bananas wandering about.

SUSIE AND TIMMY (IN UNISON)

"Who are you guys?"

TROLL

No time for intros. We are just the people who are getting the freak out of here! I don’t know who you kids are with your strange clothes but this place is about to become a very large hole in the forest floor unless we can get to the … umm “transporer room”. Do you know a nice lady called Computer per chance? She nicely informed us that we need to get to the transporter room."

SUSIE AND TIMMY

"Oh yeah we know that!"

SUSIE

"We arrived here on that. Mum says we can play for a bit before dinner. The transporter room is this way."

TIMMY

"Aww do we have to go?"

They all run out of the room and through some corridors, past some strange transparent pods with creatures in them (experimental cloning pods with umbilical chords and bubbles) and some windows with different simulated habitats. Strange animals look out of the windows at the 4 figures running past. Finally they approach the transporter room in the distance after running along a corridor. A large, red, glowing arrow points to an emergency evacuation button on the wall.

SHIP INTERCOM

"T minus 1 minute until critical reactor breach. Please move to a minimal safe distance."

TIMMY (Still running with the others towards the transporter room door)

"We got here on one of those things in there. We’re from the future! Want to see my laser gun? Pew pew!"

Timmy takes out a device from his clothes and pretends to shoot with it.

UNICORN (still running)

"Oooh that lookth interethting!"

TROLL (almost at the door)

"The future? How entirely implausible sounding. I think we press this button here….

Troll presses a flashing button on the wall with an arrow pointing to it . Glowing writing says the words "Emergency transport protocol active. Press here for 5 second countdown"

SHIP INTERCOM

"T minus 10 seconds until critical reactor breach. Please move to a minimal safe distance."

Suzie beckons them all to move onto the round shapes on the raised platform in the transporter room. They jostle quickly onto the platform.

INTERCOM

5... 4 … 3 ... 2 ..........

The scene fades to white as the pleasant voice of Computer fades away. The delicate and relaxing sounds of birds tweeting fades in and a lovely forest glade fades in to view. A huge explosion is heard in the distance. Unicorn turns to Troll.

UNICORN

"That wath fun! Letth do it again. Hey, I never thaw that thpell before. How did you get uth here tho fatht Troll? You're tho clever!"

TROLL

Are you freaking kidding Unicorn? Were you even paying attention? We could have been killed because of your ridiculous...

But Unicorn is busy jumping around nuzzling butterflies.

UNICORN

Oh hey, where'th that rainbow I thaw earlier?

Troll rolls his eyes and starts grumbling.

TROLL (UNDER HIS BREATH, GRUMBLING)
"Ridiculous magical contract… such a freaking imposition. (MOCKINGLY)” Protect unicorn and get him to Mysterious mountain and all will be forgiven”. Jeez, I am so over this ridiculous beast already. "

But a smile emerges on Troll’s face and he looks at Unicorn, then looks down at the two kids clinging to his legs.

TIMMY
"I’m Timmy"

SUSIE
"I’m Susie. How are we supposed to get back to our own time now? Mummy says we could play in the space ship in the past for a while but we have to get back for lunch and now the transporter is broken and I have homework."

TIMMY
"I’m hungry"

TROLL
"Here, have some banana."

Troll wipes some banana chunks off of Unicorn and hands it to Timmy.

TROLL
"Well it looks like you two will have to come along with us for now until we work out how to get you back to wherever it is you came from."

They continue their journey to the mysterious mountain, walking toward mysterious mountain, far off in the distance. Fade to black.

Previously that day

A mysterious figure looks at a screen depicting a wormhole (an Einstein Rosen bridge)

The figure presses some buttons and moves a dial.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE
"OK, just a little twist of this dial and... voila! Those brats won't know the difference! Heheheh." (Rubs his hands in gleee" )

On the screen, the wormhole opening receives a glowing line of light and it passes through to the other side of the screen. The words "REDIRECTED MATTER STREAM SUCCESSFUL" appears on the screen.

A logo is seen in the corner of the room with the mysterious figure, showing a depiction of a wormhole, dinosaur head and the name Paleotech underneath it.

"Paleotech is as good as mine now. Easy money!"

END OF EPISODE 1